Tuesday, July 6, 2010

My lap was last Wednesday.  They found some endometriosis… hopefully the surgery will help with the cramps?  Nice to know there’s one more issue that could have played into the difficulty in getting pregnant.  Or something.

What I really want to write about is the nurse who did most of my pre-op stuff.

First, she was going through all the basic questions…  smoke? “no”,  drink?  “sometimes”, pregnant?  “No!”.  She told me I said it with conviction.  I said, “Infertility.”  She proceeded to tell me about her friend, who just had her baby, that was conceived after treatment cycles failed, the couple gave up, and relaxation ensued.  Of course.  The nurse then told me all about how she told her friend all along that she just needed to relax and “have fun with it.”

I decided to let it go.  I passed her off as being clueless, and told myself at least it was a good momentary distraction from being freaked out about the surgery.

Apparently though, her ignorance was just warming up.  She came back a little while later and was looking through some of my medical history.  I used the infertility clinic through my HMO, so all of my infertility medical info is connected with the rest of my chart.

The nurse comments, “Wow!  You’re really young not to have any eggs!”

I think: Seriously?  Yes, my FSH is high and I’m only 31 (29 at the time it was measured), but that really doesn’t mean I don’t have any eggsIs she *actually* saying this to me? I say, “Yeah.”

She says… “I really need to get my FSH checked because I want to have one more baby and I’m old.  I didn’t have my first one until I was 40, but the doctor told me then that I still had plenty of eggs and plenty of time to have more kids.”


I’m surprised my jaw didn’t fall on the floor, I was so shocked that she said that.  She needs to go to sensitivity training, or something.  How on earth can people be so dense?


In other news, I’m still unemployed and we’re still waiting for another foster placement.  I’m planning to wait for a baby this time.  There’s a five year old foster girl that we watched for just over a week who could potentially be placed with us longer term.  I’m completely in love with her and I’m hoping we get her for a while at least.  There’s some chance she’ll be going back home though.  (We’re licensed for two, so we could take her and still wait for a baby.)



  1. Yeah my friend who had her first at 40/41 thought the same thing. In the 3 years since then she has had one m/c and no more babies. Those women are deluding themselves. They got lucky and while it is not impossible, it is unlikely that they will get lucky again.

  2. (Hugs) That is so uncouth of that nurse. I am very sorry. I do hope the lap helped you physically and mentally.

  3. Hi – I just found you through Mel’s list. I can’t believe how clueless people can be. My mother, who should really know better, said “you never know, you could just get pregnant not even trying.” This after I told her today that I am giving up on another baby and going into foster-adopt.

    Yeah – why did I waste 6 years trying to get pregnant when I could have just “relaxed”.

    I’m starting my classes for foster care next month so I will be combing your archives looking for what to expect, hope you don’t mind me snooping around!

  4. I’m sorry about the oaf of a nurse ((hugs))

  5. What a horrible nurse! Did you complain to HR? I would have. No one going through what you’ve been through should be subjected to that.

    Hoping your foster appointments come through as you’d like.

    Big hugs,

    (ICLW #23)

  6. ICLW – I am so sorry to read about that clueless nurse. Unfortunately, I am no longer shocked anymore by how stupid/ignorant people are. Even in the medical profession. Good luck with your foster placements and I hope a baby comes through for you. Best wishes.

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