Archive for July, 2010

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Contemplating change

Thursday, July 22, 2010

My husband had a job interview yesterday.  He’s currently employed, but not in the area his education is in, and he has been looking for a new job for about a year without much luck.  The interview was in a city about two and a half hours from where we currently live, and he mostly decided to go to the interview for practice.  However, he feels like the interview went really well.  And if he was actually offered the job, we would have some hard decisions to make.

Both my husband and I have lived most of our lives in the area we currently live in.  Almost all of our immediate family still live in this area as well.  Picking up and moving would be hard to do.  It would also mean having to figure out what to do with the house we’re living in (which we just bought about a year ago).  And it would mean having to start all over again with foster care certification.  Another delay in getting a baby.

And yet…

I’m actually a little excited thinking about the possibility of change.  I haven’t been able to find another job where we’re living.  We still don’t have a baby.  For the last six months (at least) it has seemed like every door of possible opportunity and forward movement has been shut and locked in our faces.  Maybe we’re supposed to be going in this new direction.  Maybe?

Or maybe I’m just desperately looking for some way to make sense of everything else that *hasn’t* been happening for us.

At any rate, he should find out about the job by next Wednesday.

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Another placement

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

We had another foster child placed with us last Friday.  She’s six, and she stayed with us for a little over a week at the beginning of the summer (as a respite placement).  It’s most likely a short term placement though.  She’s having lots of visits with her mom, and things look like they’re heading toward reunification.  So we’ll see.

As much as I love the girl we have now, and the two girls we had earlier this year, I’m still longing for a baby.  And I’m starting to feel a little hopeless – it seems like it’s never going to happen; not meant to be, or something.  Our new foster girl came with a lot of stuff, so I actually had to take apart the crib we had in her room (we have a cradle in our room still).  I put the crib in storage wondering if I will ever even need to take it out again.  We’ve been licensed since last November, and we still don’t have a baby.  We’re licensed for two though, so we could take a baby if a call comes in, we just need to get the call!

For those of you here from IComLeavWe…  My husband and I started trying to get pregnant in March, 2006.  We started with the RE in March, 2007, and over the course of the next year, learned that he has very low sperm count, and my FSH is high.  In December, 2008, we decided to give up on trying to get pregnant and started to move toward adopting through foster care.  We had our first placement in February of this year (two girls, ages 2 and 5), and they were with us for just under three months before they went to live with family who wanted to adopt them.  Now we’re on placement number two…

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Seriously?!?

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

My lap was last Wednesday.  They found some endometriosis… hopefully the surgery will help with the cramps?  Nice to know there’s one more issue that could have played into the difficulty in getting pregnant.  Or something.

What I really want to write about is the nurse who did most of my pre-op stuff.

First, she was going through all the basic questions…  smoke? “no”,  drink?  “sometimes”, pregnant?  “No!”.  She told me I said it with conviction.  I said, “Infertility.”  She proceeded to tell me about her friend, who just had her baby, that was conceived after treatment cycles failed, the couple gave up, and relaxation ensued.  Of course.  The nurse then told me all about how she told her friend all along that she just needed to relax and “have fun with it.”

I decided to let it go.  I passed her off as being clueless, and told myself at least it was a good momentary distraction from being freaked out about the surgery.

Apparently though, her ignorance was just warming up.  She came back a little while later and was looking through some of my medical history.  I used the infertility clinic through my HMO, so all of my infertility medical info is connected with the rest of my chart.

The nurse comments, “Wow!  You’re really young not to have any eggs!”

I think: Seriously?  Yes, my FSH is high and I’m only 31 (29 at the time it was measured), but that really doesn’t mean I don’t have any eggsIs she *actually* saying this to me? I say, “Yeah.”

She says… “I really need to get my FSH checked because I want to have one more baby and I’m old.  I didn’t have my first one until I was 40, but the doctor told me then that I still had plenty of eggs and plenty of time to have more kids.”

Seriously?!?

I’m surprised my jaw didn’t fall on the floor, I was so shocked that she said that.  She needs to go to sensitivity training, or something.  How on earth can people be so dense?

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In other news, I’m still unemployed and we’re still waiting for another foster placement.  I’m planning to wait for a baby this time.  There’s a five year old foster girl that we watched for just over a week who could potentially be placed with us longer term.  I’m completely in love with her and I’m hoping we get her for a while at least.  There’s some chance she’ll be going back home though.  (We’re licensed for two, so we could take her and still wait for a baby.)