Archive for June, 2010



Wednesday, June 23, 2010

I’m still having horrible cramps, which seem to be getting worse, and I really don’t want to continue with the birth control pills.  So, since I’m not working now and don’t have much to do anyway, I decided I’m going to go in for a lap.  It’s on 6/30.  Maybe they’ll find some endometriosis and get rid of it and that will help with the cramps?  Hopefully…

I’m a little nervous about it.  I’ve had surgery before, but not since I was about 8 (?), and I don’t remember much of it.  (I had my tonsils taken out and all I remember is getting paid a nickel for every sip of juice that I took.)  Can anyone who has had a lap done tell me what I should expect?  Especially what I should expect after the surgery?  I can be kind of a wimp when it comes to pain.

Kind of funny that I’m doing this after we’ve stopped trying to get pregnant.  Too bad getting rid of endo can’t fix our dismal sperm count.  Or my FSH.


Checking in…

Thursday, June 3, 2010

Wow.  It has been forever and a day since I have posted anything.  I haven’t been keeping up with other people’s blogs either.  I’m being a very bad blogger.

Major life occurrences since my last post:

1) Our two girls left.  On Mother’s day, no less.  They went to live with family, which is good.  We got to meet the family, and we really liked them, which is good.  We knew it was going to be a short-term placement.  But I’m way too used to hoping for the impossible, and so of course I had some hope that the family thing wouldn’t work out, and that maybe the girls would stay with us.  So I ended up sad and disappointed.

2) I was laid off from my job.  That I absolutely loved… well, except for all the paperwork and the high amounts of stress…  I don’t know the reason I was picked to be laid off, but I’m guessing infertility might have had something to do with it, since it kinda-sorta had an impact on my job performance.  I actually started at that job the same month we started at the fertility clinic.  I’m not sure what the plan is now.  I’m technically looking for another job, but I’m not really sure if I want another one like the one I had.  I might try to find something a little different, with less paperwork and less stress.  And then, since I’ll be so much more relaxed, I’ll get pregnant… ha, ha.

We’re back on the list for taking another placement.  I’m planning to wait for a baby this time.  I loved having the girls, but I still feel so sad and bitter whenever I see a woman with a baby.  I need to have my turn.

Anyway… since I have LOTS of free time these days, I’m going to try to actually get caught up on blog stuff…