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Taking the next step

Friday, February 12, 2010

I finally made the call to the state adoptions office yesterday, and requested an information packet.  I’ve been putting it off for a while now – the whole homestudy process scares me a little.  Getting licensed as foster parents was the easy part.  Getting approved for adoption?  Not so much.

I have depression.  Chronic depression.  It’s something I’ve dealt with for over ten years now.  It kind of comes and goes – I’m mildly depressed for a while, and then it becomes worse for a short period of time, and then I go back to mild.  I’m getting treatment for it, and I’m pretty good at managing the symptoms so they don’t disrupt my daily life too much.  Or at least I was until infertility came along.  Infertility and depression seem to have been working hand-in-hand to try to disable me.  And there have been times when they have been successful in the last couple years.  Since we got licensed for foster care, things have been a little better.  I haven’t been so easy to knock down.

But I worry about how the person doing our homestudy will see at it.  I worry that I’m going to be judged (by everyone) for trying to adopt a baby when I’m struggling with depression.  I know that having a “psychiatric condition” (as it says on the preliminary application form) doesn’t mean I can’t adopt.  But I still worry.

What if they decide I’m not good enough?

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4 comments

  1. No real assvice, my friend, but to say that I share your fear of judgement and wondering if I will be deemed as “good enough”. Hang in there and congrats on taking that one more step.


  2. Don’t be silly. No one is going to think that about someone as kind and caring as you are!


  3. I have similar feelings as I too have chronic depression. Hang in there. You can get through it.

    ICLW


  4. ICLW – I have had mild/moderate depression and anxiety for over 10 years and we just got activated for domestic infant adoption with a private agency. I too worried and wondered about the same thing. That I would not be good enough, that being on medication for this issue, that seeing a psychiatrist every couple of months would all be strikes against my husband and I. Thankfully that was not true and everything turned out fine and we are now awaiting a match. Good luck with the two little girls you currently have!



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