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Maybe today…

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

That’s what I’ve been starting out every day with.  Maybe today we’ll get a baby.  Then I spend all day checking my phone every half hour… or less.  I turn the ringer off while I’m at work, but it’s still set to beep if I get a message, so checking it all the time really isn’t necessary.  But I check anyway.  Just in case.  The way they do it here (small county) is that whenever they have a kid come in, they send out a recorded message to everyone on “the list” with basic information about the child.  And then I have an hour to call in and say I’m interested, if I want the baby.  And then they choose from the people who called back.  So checking my phone every half hour really isn’t *too* unreasonable.  Or so I tell myself.

My heart is aching for this.  I sound like a broken record, but I’m so tired of waiting.  I want to have a baby sleeping in the cradle.  I want to have my baby to hold and rock to sleep.  I want to be sleep deprived because I have to wake up feed my baby every two hours.  I even want to deal with visits and the uncertainty of whether or not my baby will stay with me forever.  Just so long as I have my baby.

Maybe tomorrow… ?

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2 comments

  1. Hoping your tomorrow is here ASAP. Hang in there.


  2. I hope tomorrow is the day. Waiting is so hard.



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