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Longing and trepidation

Sunday, January 24, 2010

For some reason, this weekend I’ve really had that longing for a baby.  It hasn’t been as bad since we got licensed for foster care, but this weekend has been hard.

And the fear has come with the longing.  Fear that I’m not going to be able to do this.  That I won’t be a good mom.  That I’m still too fragile after all of the wounds left by infertility.

I need to call to start the process for our adoption homestudy too… I’m even more nervous about that whole procedure.

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One comment

  1. It’s sometimes weird to me that after so many years there are still days when the longing is almost unbearable…I really thought it would just hit an even keel by now, ya know?

    Those wounds are going to help you be an incredible mother. Those wounds know loss and heartache and pain and disappointment. Being able to not only understand but really feel these things as your child faces them will be one of your greatest assets.



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