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Responsibility

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Sometimes having to be responsible really sucks.  I got a positive OPK this morning.  Of course.  It actually made me laugh- it just fits so well with everything else going on in my life right now.  And I just don’t feel like I can miss work at all tomorrow for an IUI.  So we’re waiting until next month I guess.  I know that was the right decision to make, but I’ve still been feeling sad and disappointed all day.  😦

I had an all day training for work today.  A lot of it was about what it really means to empathize with someone and how important that is when working with clients.  Feeling their pain, taking time to understand and to let them know you understand.  One of the good things about all the crap I’ve gone through is that I really like being able to do that with my clients.  It doesn’t scare me like it might.  I know I made it through my own intense pain; I have no doubt that I can hold my clients’ pain and help them get through it.  That’s one of the things I love about being a therapist.

The bad part about the day?  They showed this music video:  The Eleventh Commandment.  I work with kids who have been abused everyday.  Sometimes I work with parents who have a history of abusing their kids.  I can do the empathy thing when it’s on an individual basis.  Taking each client as they are and accepting that.  But this video is a much broader view of child abuse.  And that, combined with my disappointment about not doing IUI this month, started the tears and the “Why God?”  Why is it so easy for people who are going to abuse their kids to have them?  It’s so not fair to those kids.  And why are there so many people who desperately want kids and would be good parents that can’t have them?  It’s not fair for us either. 

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10 comments

  1. Crap. Crap. Crap. I’m sorry, hun. I hate that real life has to get in the way of this TTC roller-coaster. As if it isn’t enough, huh?

    There is no doubt in my mind that you are a fabulous therapist. I admire what you do especially on days like today when things are hard in your own life. ((Hugs)).


  2. Crap. Crap. Crap. I’m sorry, hun. I hate that real life has to get in the way of this TTC roller-coaster. As if it isn’t enough, huh?

    There is no doubt in my mind that you are a fabulous therapist. I admire what you do especially on days like today when things are hard in your own life. ((Hugs)).


  3. Being responsible does suck. There are so many people that think, “You always have next month” and they don’t understand. Another whole month out of my life – checking everyday to see if I O’d, trying to time the most appropriate sex, struggling the 2WW (Am I? Am I not?). It is just miserable.

    I am so sorry you missed this cycle.

    ((((HUGS))))


  4. Ugh! It’s really so unfair. Why do people who will abuse have kids? Why do people who don’t want to, get pregnant? Why do children end up having babies? Why? Why? Why? No answers, just commiserating with you. Big hugs to you!


  5. your profession sounds like an amazing job..and have great admiration that you work with abused kids..

    yes, life’s so unfair isn’t it? i had a friend who said that OH, I DIDN’T REALLY WANT THIS BABY. IT WAS AN ACCIDENT. That really hurt cuz here i am longing for one! 😦

    Big hugs to you and hope you’re feeling better today

    ps i’ve found you through Lost In Space’s blog. I don’t know how this works but i’ve tagged you in my blog


  6. I don’t believe a kind God would choses people for infertility or cancer or to be the recipients of abuse. It just doesn’t compute. Therefore either
    a.) there is no God
    or
    b.) A believe in God does not have to mean a belief that God intervenes in our lives

    Good luck!


  7. I’m so sorry. I was so disappointed to read this post – I can only imagine how you feel.

    Hugs,
    Polly


  8. Oh how frustrating!!!!! I hate days like that.


  9. I am so with you…. I once had a customer who was 14 years old….her mother let her boyfriend spend the night with her, in HER HOUSE and she got pregnant! When she came in and told me, and I thought about her family, (felons, drug addictions, both parents, the girl suffered from some type of mental illness) I was just like “how???”

    Sometimes things seem and are NO DOUBT so wrong, but I still believe and always will that God has a Plan for everything and everyone. We may not understand it now, but we will someday.

    But until then, its okay to cry, I’ve been there many a times…sending you hugs from Cairo…..


  10. I am so sorry life got in the way this month. I must say you are so strong to work with abused kids. Child services was not something I could do with my social work career. Especially now. I admire your courage. ((hugs))



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