I hate Walmart

Sunday, February 17, 2008

Seriously, I think half of the women I see in there are pregnant.  And about 75% of the pregnant ones already have little kids running around or riding in the cart.  This is one of those days when I’m feeling like it will never happen; that I will never have a kid.  And it seems so easy for everyone else.  Granted, some of those pregnant women at Walmart might have gone through IF too, so I try not to be too bitter.  But the ones who have other little kids running around?  Somehow I doubt they had any problems getting themselves knocked up.

How or earth will my husband and I ever come up with $15,000?  It seems like such a huge amount of money.  Sure, we could try to take out a loan or borrow money from family.  But I don’t think I could handle making monthly payments for years if it didn’t work.  So we’re stuck saving.  And it’s going to take a year and a half at the very least.  We’ve technically been trying for almost two years now (it will be 2 years in March) and I just started my 29th cycle of TTC yesterday.  Whoo-hoo.  I don’t know if it even counts as trying when we have no chance of getting pregnant on our own. 

My biggest fear is that we’ll save enough for IVF/ICSI (to take care of the MFI) and then they’ll discover there’s something wrong with me too.  And that we’ll have to wait even longer.  I don’t think anyone is going to care if I’m having any problems right now or not, we have no sperm, so why bother?  I’m kind of concerned about the amount of spotting I have, but neither my ob/gyn or my RE are going to care.  So whatever.

Can you tell I’m having a self-pity day? 



  1. I hate going to Fertile-Mart too. I swear I am the only non-pregnant/no-kid havin’ person in that store.

    I hate that infertility treatments cost so damn much. We are doing IVF with ICSI and AHA and it is draining us. You will get there, but I know the frustration of waiting. ((Hugs))

  2. Thanks hon. I really hope you guys have a successful cycle and that you don’t have to go through the whole IVF/ICSI procedure again! ((hugs))

  3. ” I don’t know if it even counts as trying when we have no chance of getting pregnant on our own. ” My husband has been spermless due to medication he’s been taking for the last year+. I’ve wondered this very thing myself. We’ve had “well timed intercourse” most of those months even though I knew it was futile. Does it count? I dunno.

    As for having you tested, prior to moving to IVF they will want to do some tests on you to make sure the plumbing is working ok. That said, IVF is the preferred treatment for many female ailments as well so even if YOU do have issues too, IVF should bypass them as well.

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