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Family drama

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

This has absolutely nothing to do with infertility (okay, maybe it does a little bit- more on that later), but I’m stressed about it so I’m going to blog it anyway.

I am so tired of the drama in my family.  And of being the one who doesn’t get to cause any drama because I have to cushion everyone else.  So today it’s my brother.  He and his girlfriend went out of town (about an hour and a half away) for the weekend.  Today they had a fight, he walked/hitchhiked home, and now he is absolutely desperate to get back to her.  So he’s been calling my parents ALL day trying to convince them to drive him back there.  He’s whining, yelling, hanging up on people, acting very irrational, and trying to lay a really big guilt trip.  Did I mention he’s 26?  My mom gets sucked into all of it and gets really stressed and then I get to calm her down.  She actually said to me today, “I know I shouldn’t get sucked into your brothers’ problems, but I can’t help it.”  I’m thinking- that’s exactly why I can’t tell you about anything going on in my life.  I DO tell her about things, just after the fact, never in the middle of it.  She cannot handle the stress.  And I still feel the need to protect her some.  (I’m sure I’ll blog more in about my history at some point and all of this will make more sense).

 So what does that have to do with infertility?  The fact that my parents *said* they will help us out with paying for IVF, but they keep having to bail my brother out of one problem or another.  One new engine for my his car (which he didn’t get back since the car loan is in my parents’ name and he wasn’t making payments).  One 4 week stay at a residential alcohol addiction rehab center.  And a million other little things.  I get kind of mad that they are so busy helping him that they don’t have any money to give me.  Of course I can never say that, but that’s how I’ve been feeling lately.

Sometimes I wish I lived a little further away from “home”.

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2 comments

  1. When growing up my mother would often refer to my siblings as “her kids”… as if somehow I wasn’t. That always hurt my feelings. I don’t have a relationship with my mother AT ALL these days but if I did I imagine it would still be the same and I imagine it would hurt to see her still putting them ahead of me. I’m sorry that your brother’s drama impacts your relationship with your parents – that really is not fair to you. (HUGS)


  2. Maybe you DO need to say it. Maybe it’s time you weren’t invisible any more. (hugs)



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